Do you ever find yourself agreeing to do something and later scratching your head and saying to yourself — “Why did I do that” or “why can’t I say no!”
Do you wonder why you cannot say NO, or Thank you, and NO in a firm, kind way. I do have pretty good boundaries and most of the time am able to do this, although there are times when I squirm and find it uncomfortable. Yes, squirm mode can be a little disconcerting. I am mindful each day to live in integrity so this is somewhat of a double YIKES situation.
When this comes up for me I feel a little out of sync, knowing I desire to say NO and yet am unable to summon the courage to say Thank you, NO. I then wonder to myself, am I agreeing to be accepted, or to avoid the discomfort of saying no, or saying to myself—“well I don’t mind, it doesn’t really matter one way or the other”. Yes, I looked within and found each of these excuses. In an effort to live a life of impeccable integrity, congruency, and authenticity I now question even the most innocent of reasons – “it doesn’t really matter”
As usual the Universe offers up what is needed to help move me forward. In situations where I ponder being agreeable and am not able to summon an honest NO, I am now also mindful of my integrity. I was offered exposure to a large number of potential clients in exchange for “gifting” someone one my premier offerings – a series of Golden DNA Activations. Though very tempting, I felt I was dishonoring the sacredness of this incredible protocol I invested time, money and energy to master. As with other times when I feel the dis ease of being out of sync, I also felt out of integrity by gifting this protocol. Inner guidance led me to go within and ask. Through the stillness in my heart center I receive a conformation and the answer is a loud clear NO. Still I waver for a few days, summoning the courage to say NO, without the need to explain. Honest NOs do not require an explanation!! Once the honest NO came forth from my inner most self, I felt empowered and honored to have embodied the honest NO at the very core of my being! I never realized how important it was to embody this process.
Not to long later I had another opportunity to practice this honest NO. Mindfulness and awareness are necessary for this to occur. The Universe can be a little tricky in testing me. The opportunity sometimes comes disguised, and it is easy to be lulled into agreeability. Like any “muscle” the honest NO requires practice to master. With each honest NO I embody the next one is easier.
There was a time in my life when this realization would never have occurred to me. It comes through the diligence of self examination, and doing Energy Clearing work on myself daily. Energy Clearing work has brought more clarity, purpose and joy into my life as old beliefs, patterns of behavior, and thought processes are cleared from my chakras, energy body and DNA.